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Why we love children
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
*****
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in
the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in
the toilet last week."
*****
On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."
*****
A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to
answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle."
*****
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
*****
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a
little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a
cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever
needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well,
then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
*****
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?"
he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
*****
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of
false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy
will never believe this!"
*****
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache in the
morning.
*****
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting
my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
*****
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment in the young boy's voice,
he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
---
"What one needs to know about life is that there is more pain than anything
else. That is why you have to laugh. You can't wait until the pain stops to
enjoy yourself. If you do, you'll never have any fun at all."
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